Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
