You're so nebulous sometimes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
