dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
