You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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