I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
