I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
