He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize