can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
