doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
