found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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