The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize