I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
