I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize