ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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