Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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