I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Randomize
