i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
