at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
