CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
