i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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