I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize