Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
