i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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