I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
