I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
