I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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