we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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