You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
