Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
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