I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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