I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
