My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
