I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
