My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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