Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
