she smelled like a LAN party
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
