you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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