New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
