this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
