I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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