I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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