I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
