what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
