On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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