tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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