This house was built for laser tag.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize