It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
