Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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