Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
