i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
