Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
