Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
