That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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