he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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