He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
