Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
