like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
