none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
