It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
