Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
