I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize