WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
