The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
