I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
