Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
