Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
