dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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