If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
