Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
