i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
