I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize