Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize