..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
