Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
