no, he came in my armpit
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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