I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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