anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Panties = found
Randomize
