Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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